Never Have I Ever: My Life So Far Without a Date

This summer, I read a wonderful autobiography by Katie Heaney, a Buzzfeed executive and blogger. Though her book tells the story of her life without a committed relationship, her story has universal appeal to everyone. I have friends who have significant others, used to have significant others, or are chronically single like myself who have enjoyed this book. She's so relatable and down-to-earth that we can find commonalities. I feel like even guys could relate to it--even if it's just to help guys understand how neurotic we females can get.

The book's format consists of personal essays for varying time periods in Katie's life. Each chapter talks about her perilous experiences in dating.

Honestly, I felt like she wrote down my life story. Obviously we have differences because we're different people. However, so much of what she does resembles what I do when I think I like someone. You see, like Katie, every one to two years, I'll find some guy to "like" and then believe he's the right guy for me.

In reality, this guy that I "like" is some guy that I made up, not the guy in question. It's always characteristics that I project on to him. Like Katie, I can name the guys that I've liked throughout my life and I can tell you now it probably wasn't genuine.

Until reading this book, I hadn't realized that's what I do, but it's so true.

Upon reflection, I think a lot of people do this. Many divorces occur due to a spouse nor living up to the other's expectations.

Katie comes to the conclusion that she is a happier, more whole person because she has been single her whole life. Yes, there are days where she wishes she had someone, but on the whole she has made a great life for herself.

Generally, I, too, am very happy that I have not been in a relationship. I've had so many opportunities and have saved myself so much worry and heartache. I wouldn't be the person I am today otherwise because I've grown so much as a person without another person to define me.

When that day comes, I feel like I can fully participate in a relationship because I am my own person and won't become lost in that.