Never Have I Ever: My Life So Far Without a Date

This summer, I read a wonderful autobiography by Katie Heaney, a Buzzfeed executive and blogger. Though her book tells the story of her life without a committed relationship, her story has universal appeal to everyone. I have friends who have significant others, used to have significant others, or are chronically single like myself who have enjoyed this book. She's so relatable and down-to-earth that we can find commonalities. I feel like even guys could relate to it--even if it's just to help guys understand how neurotic we females can get.

The book's format consists of personal essays for varying time periods in Katie's life. Each chapter talks about her perilous experiences in dating.

Honestly, I felt like she wrote down my life story. Obviously we have differences because we're different people. However, so much of what she does resembles what I do when I think I like someone. You see, like Katie, every one to two years, I'll find some guy to "like" and then believe he's the right guy for me.

In reality, this guy that I "like" is some guy that I made up, not the guy in question. It's always characteristics that I project on to him. Like Katie, I can name the guys that I've liked throughout my life and I can tell you now it probably wasn't genuine.

Until reading this book, I hadn't realized that's what I do, but it's so true.

Upon reflection, I think a lot of people do this. Many divorces occur due to a spouse nor living up to the other's expectations.

Katie comes to the conclusion that she is a happier, more whole person because she has been single her whole life. Yes, there are days where she wishes she had someone, but on the whole she has made a great life for herself.

Generally, I, too, am very happy that I have not been in a relationship. I've had so many opportunities and have saved myself so much worry and heartache. I wouldn't be the person I am today otherwise because I've grown so much as a person without another person to define me.

When that day comes, I feel like I can fully participate in a relationship because I am my own person and won't become lost in that.

How to watch Buffy like a professor

So, I've recently started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer for the first time. I know, I know, I'm a failure at being a 90's kid.

While watching the show, I've picked up on a few things. First off, she's the archetype of essentially all shows supernatural, including Supernatural. Any fans of both shows know that Dean is the male version of Buffy (hence the Buffy/Dean shippers). Moreover, the general format of the show is exactly what Supernatural does. Each episode, on the whole, is self-contained.

The Buffy/Angel spinoff is the first of it's kind where spinoffs actually interact. Before, spinoffs occurred after the main show ran its course like Joey after Friends and Fraser after Cheers. Angel actually gained its own fan base separate from the Buffy fans and ran for a season after Buffy.

The Buffy/Angel/Spike love triangle is identical to the one in The Vampire Diaries with Elena/Stefan/Damon respectively. The girl falls in love with the "good" or "tame" vampire and then goes on to fall for the rough around the edges one who needs reforming. And of course he does reform for her. He can't entirely change his bad self, but on the most part he does.

All of these similarities remind me of a book that I read in high school called How to Read Literature Like a Professor by Thomas Foster. For those of you who haven't read it, I highly recommend it. In the book, Foster talks about how we essentially have the same few plots retold in various forms. As an aspiring writer, it's kind of sad because, according to Foster, anything I write is not original.

Buffy popularized the supernatural genre on TV and set the stage for shows to come. However, though she was revolutionary, her story isn't entirely original either. After all, Dracula and Anne Rice beat her to the vampire stories and the Lost Boys did the creepy vampire face thing first.

Anyway, I haven't finished Buffy yet--my progress has been made very slow now that I'm simultaneously watching Angel. However, I felt like I should share my observations thus far.